Free Web space and hosting from suzaku.com
Search the Web

Chapter III: No Need for a Chapter Title

Vegeta looked at one of the table that was overturned  "Garr look, Craps!"

"You can say that again!"  Ruby said

"Garrr....no, Craps!"  Vegeta ran over too the table and flipped it over.

"Yes....the game is screwed up, I wish that the castle hadn't tipped over."  Ruby blinked in shock.

"No....Furget it...If any one needs my I'll be in my cabin listening to 'The Band!’  Vegeta started walking to the door.

"Oh really...which one?"

"Button yer pie hole!"  Vegeta said as he disappeared around the corner.

"What's with that guy?"  Ruby asked.  A glass of whiskey with sunglasses on shrugged in response.

"Well...we have to figure out what to do next....Zero, scan around ...where are any new portals?"  Cloud sheathed his sword.

"Ahh....it looks like there's a portal over there....maybe we can find a Discoball there!"  Zero pointed to a mountain through the window near the entrance door.

A man with long purple hair, pale skin, and a cape that reached the ground suddenly materialized in front of them.

"It's you...why'd you save us?"  Zero pointed to the man just barely missing the man’s forehead with his robotic finger.

"Hmmmm....Discoball...this sounds useful...."  The man reached out and grabbed onto Zero's arm causing him to freeze in place.

"What the hell are you doing?  Let go of me....please!"  Zero stood there doing nothing.

"I'm accessing your memory banks...now just hold on a moment...this wont hurt me the slightest!"  The man bowed his head down and closed his eyes for a few seconds before removing his hand from Zero's shoulder.  "I see sparing your lives was the smart thing to do...I must have these Discoballs....where are they?"  The man examined the room as if he didn't notice or care that anyone was in there.

"What...why should I tell you anything?"  Zero looked around and realized that no one else was moving.  "What the hell did you do to them?"

"I put them into a time freeze...they wont be able to move until I leave the room!  Tell me...I spared you twice, and I could easily destroy you if I wanted to!"  A large black vortex appeared over the man's head.

"Twice...what other time did you spare us?"  Zero stared the man down.

"I brought you back to this dimension just before that meteor almost destroyed that dimension."

"That was you?"

"Yes it was...now if you don't mind....I'd like the Discoballs before I'm forced to kill you!"  The man shoved a hand into the robots stomach.

"Garr...not so fast Magus!" Vegeta flew through the wall and swiped at the man's head.  The man jumped into the air and disappeared just in time.

"You...I thought I was done with you!"  The man reappeared behind Vegeta and shot an orb at him.  Vegeta split into two people who went into opposite directions.  The first was Vegeta how he normally looked, the other was a female pirate with purple hair.  The woman pulled out a sword and darted at the man swinging.  The man once again disappeared and reappeared in a different part of the room once again. "You pests!  What does it take to get rid of you?"

"It will take a lot more than a few blasts to get rid of us you weakling!"  The man turned around just in time to see Vegeta's foot slam right into his face sending the man across the room into the wall.  As the man touched the wall, he melted through the wall and disappeared.  Everyone in the room reanimated.

Magus growled as he wandered though the halls. "Stupid bad guys turning good... It's impossible to make a living anymore!"

Suddenly, he appeared in a room filled with multi-colored mech-type things.

Diamond Weapon shook his head. "Oh, you're complexion ith jutht AWFUL! You are in therious need of thome blush...Come with me..."

Diamond Weapon grabbed a confused Magus by the arm and drug him off to the makeup room.

In the other room:

Barret continued trying to teach Tails how to play basketball with something that looked a lot like Cyan rolled up in a ball.

"No, for da las' time, YOU AIN'T ALLOWED T'FLY!"

Tails pouted. "But that makes it so HARD!"

Meanwhile, Cloud and Celes worked on the door, shut and locked and deadbolted and nailed and being sat next to by an overweight Umaro.

"Erm, hey...guys..."

"What is it?" Celes snapped at Zero.

"There's no hinges on that door...you can just...uhm...pull it out..."

Celes and Cloud looked at each other with one of those uncomfortable pauses hanging over them.

In another other room:

Sabin coughed as he stumbled out of the engine room. Suddenly, sand began to pour into the room from between the bricks. Sabin frowned.

After he was waist-deep in grains, Sabin's frowned turned into...something...that wasn't really a frown...well...sorta. Anyway, he stopped frowning and said, "Oh crap! This is bad!"

"The Hell!  Put that down peasant before I'm forced to hurt you!"  Magus screeched as he slapped a small brush out of Diamonds hand.

"There I'm done!"  Diamond placed the last component in his man-purse.

"What the hell'd you do to me?"  Magus walked over to the mirror and lifted his hair to find a bow.

"Tt’th preety!"  Diamond looked astonished.

"What this...my cheeks are pink...my eyelashes are all furly...my hair is braded...and my eye lids are purple...that's it your a dead man!"

Meanwhile where Sabin is...

"That's not good!"

Meanwhile where everyone else is...

"That's it..dis is like teachin’ a cat to bark!  I'm done trying to teach yah how ta play basketball!"  Barret arised his arm and shot the ball causing it to pop.  "Besides...Baseball's the way ta go!"

"Well...we have to figure out what to do next."  Sailor Moon spoke to the rest of the nine scouts around a small table.

"Well duh Usagi...you can be so stupid sometimes!"  Sailor Mars said.

"I know!"  Sailor Mercury suddenly jumped up out of her chair, "how about we go ask Zero what to do next?"

"To Zero!"  The remaining scouts shouted as they hopped out of their chairs the same way as Sailor Mercury.

"Right...To Zero....wait I'm the leader of this group...I'm supposed to lead everyone into agreement!"  Sailor Moon slammed her fist into the wood table, "To Zer...hey...get back here!"  The other scouts began to walk in the direction of Zero.

"Hey Zero...how do we get over those mountains to the next Discoball?"  Sailor Moon asked the robot who was glumly drinking a warm spritzer.

"Oh it’s simple."  Zero turned around from drink and snapped.

"Ok, what do we do if it's so simple?"  Sailor Moon said in a challenging voice as she slammed her foot down and placed her hands on her hips.

"This is what we do!"  Zero grabbed Sailor Moon by her shirt, spun around three time, and let her go launching the half backed sailor over the mountain range.

"Well, that's one way to do it."  Sailor Mercury looked at the mountains

"Zero...how many times have I told you not to do that?"  Sailor Saturn snapped.

"None actually."  Zero sat back down and continued to nurse his drink.

"Oh...well then carry on!"

"You know," said that one Sailor Scout, you know, the one that does that one thing, "if you wouldn't mind terribly, could you fling us in another direction?"

Zero frowned. "Well...I'm afraid it isn't terribly accurate... Besides, I'm sure sending her through several feet of rock has completely mashed her skull into itty bitty bits. Hey, there's enough of you Scouts, I'm pretty sure I'll have perfected my aim by then..."

Meanwhile...

Sabin waded through the sand that was creeping up to his chest. "I have to warn everyone," he thought aloud as he scrambled up the steps. "The first place is...the kitchen."

Running into the kitchen, he found the short, rectangularly-shaped waiter. "C'mon," he said urgently, "the castle's flooding! We have to go, now!"

The waiter looked up and him. "Okay," he said slowly. "Let me warn the cook, too. Hey Al! This man here says the castle is flooding!"

"What?" came the response from the back room.

"I said, we got to get out of here! You should get some of the equipment, too!"

"What?"

Meanwhile...

"Mommy," Sapphire said, pulling on Emerald's leg, "guess what!"

"What?" Emerald asked.

"Lookit!" he said, pointing to the sand creeping out from under a door. "The beach followed me! CanIkeepitcanIkeepit?"

"Well, I don't know..."

"CanIcanIcanICanIcanIcanICanIcanIcanICanIcanIcanICanIcanI?!"

"No, I don't think so. Why don't you take that home instead?"

"What?" Cyan said, looking up from the refreshment cooler. "Oh no, wait, I'm just-"

Sapphire Weapon pounced on Cyan and held him tight. "I'm going to hug him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him forever!" he vowed excitedly.

Sabin continued to run through the halls screaming, "The castle is sinking, the castle is sinking!"  Sabin darted across the room where everyone was lounging around with seven maids, ten butlers, a cook, Al, and one drummer boy.

"What the hell do you think that was all about?"  Zero pondered as he picked up a Sailor Scout ready to launch her.

"I believe he was trying to tell us that the castle is sinking and we should leave!"  Saturn said while Zero was holding her in both hands.

"Well if that's all that it is...then EVERY BODY RUUUUUUUN!"  Vegeta screamed causing everyone to plow out of the castle after the group following Sabin.  Everyone ran a safe distance from the castle and watched it sink like the Edmonds Fitzgerald.  When the castle sank out of site a shadowy figure appeared where the castle was once standing.

"I fight for love and justice and on behalf of the moon I shall punish you!"  The shadow flexed and moved.

"Hey...I launched you over the mountain...what are you doing here?"  Zero screamed in great surprise.

"Ahhhh....editors mistake in my favor!"  Sailor Moon walked over to the rest of the group.

A great flash appeared in the sky in front of them.  Everyone turned to see what had caused the flash.  In the air hovering was a pale man with a large purple cape and a scythe.

"Foot!"  The man boomed in the air.

"It's Magus!"  Sailor Moon screamed for no good reason.

"Hey Cloud!"  Zero whispered over to Cloud as he pressed a small little button on the side of his head causing the little piece of plastic to withdraw once more.

"What Zero?"  Cloud asked.

"I just finished my scan of the area for Discoballs!"  Zero said in shock.

"Yah so what...this really isn't the time to bring that up!"  Cloud became aggravated with Zero.

"Yes I know...it really wouldn't be except for the fact that one of the Discoball locations is coming from him!"  Zero pointed at Magus.

"Say what!  That means the sixth ball is near we must get it from him!"  Cloud blurted aloud drawing the attention of everyone in the vicinity.

"Hey Magus!  Give us that Discobal now!"  Zero pulled out his sword and stood ready to fight.

"Do you mean this?"  Magus reached behind him and pulled out a Discoball.  You can have this if you want...but you'll have to take it from me first!"  Zero jumped up with his sword behind his body ready to slice downward on Magus.  "Oh come now you can do better than that can't you?"  Magus put a hand out in front of him emitting a blue lightning bolt that flew into Zero sending him flying.  "Just for that I'm taking these with me!"  Magus motioned towards Naten to come over to him.  All of the Discoballs in his pockets flew out up to Magus and orbited around him.

"Hey you give those back!"  Zero said as he weakly stood up.  "I shall kill you Magus!"  Zero said as he jumped into the air. A large blue aura formed around Zero for a few seconds and exploded into a rage of bright white.  When the light finished Zero's body turned gold and a cloth wrapped around his body from his mouth to his feet.

"Ninja Zero has now reached his ultimate level."  A monotone computer voice boomed.

"That's not going to be enough to stop me...if you want these you must follow me!"  Magus hovered up higher and flew off leaving a black streak behind him.

"Quickly...to the air ship!"  Setzer pointed off in the direction of his air ship.

Cloud frowned as he looked up at the airship. "Whatta piece of junk. Cid's was much better. Does this thing even have bathrooms?"

"You be quiet!" Sabin snapped, smacking Cloud upside the head. "When I was your age, I was happy for what I had."

"What the hell," Setzer muttered, "you complained more than anyone."

"Let us proceed," Zero said. "Magus must be overtaken, lest his wish be granted."

Sailor Moon looked at him strangely. "Since when did you get so smart? Is this the same guy that launched me over the mountain?"

"My programming has advanced far beyond your meager comprehension."

"What'd you say about my in-school suspension?!" Sailor Moon cried. "No one was supposed to know about that!"

"You were suspended?" Sailor Mercury said, frowning. "We cannot have a prestigious member of our group be acting in such a disrespectable manner."

Sailor Jupiter nodded in agreement. "You are hereby dishonorably discharged from the Sailor Scouts! Turn in your tiara and wand."

"W-what...?" Sailor Moon stammered, falling backwards.

"Now, I will be the new leader," Sailor Saturn said, stepping forward.

"What are you talking about?" Sailor Mercury cried. "I'm in best position to be leader!"

The remaining Sailor Scouts fought viciously in the sand, kicking up clouds of dust.

Sailor Moon looked up as the ariship began to lift into the air. "See ya, suckas!" Barret laughed over the side.

The ship speed through the air as swiftly as the wind. Over the mountains following the trail left by Magus.

"Why is it that when someone flies, they always leave an easy to follow trail?"  Vegeta frowned as he looked down at the black transparent trail.

"Well if they didn't, we wouldn't be able to find them no would we?"  Faris walked up behind Vegeta.

"I suppose not, why do you keep bothering me?"  Vegeta leaned up against the side of the bridge.

"Well, I think that we should fuse again seeing that..." A loud whistling noise cut the purple haired pirate off.

"What I can't hear you!"  Vegeta shouted.

"I said that..."  The noise grew louder as a long silver ship sped up along side of the wooden boat.

"What's all of this noise coming...hey, it's Cid's ship!"  Cloud said as he staggered out of the cabin.  Ten grappling hooks shot off of the silver ship in unison hooking onto the wooden ship, and all of the ten of the sailor scouts slid down the rope onto the ship in front of Cloud.

"Not you again!"  Cloud said, exasperated.

"Yes us again!" Sailor Moon said.

"Ahh geeze!  There's just no getting rid of you!"  Cloud said and stamped back into the cabin as the silver ship sped off.

"Anyway, as I was saying...I think that we should fuse to become Vegaris again!"  Faris said.

"Fine fine.."  Vegeta got up and danced with Faris joining into a masculine purple haired windbag.

"Hey cool!  Can we do that?"  The sailor scouts excitedly said at the same time.

"No don't!  Vegaris shouted as he ran over to the sailor scouts trying to stop them all but too late.

A large flash consumed the scouts blinding Vegaris for a second, then died down.  When the light disappeared, the sailor scouts were replaced with a very attractive woman in a very short and colorful sailor outfit.  When she walked, her hair shifted colors making it hard to focus on her.

"Oh great, now we have the most beautiful and annoying being in the universe!"  Vegaris said, folding his arms.

"I am not annoying!"  Sailor Planitarium said and began crying for no apparent reason.

"I rest my case!"  Vegaris said and abandoned her, walking into the cabin.  "I need my sleep!"

Suddenly, there was another flash of light, but this time it was a much darker and multicolored light.

"What was that...?" Sabin wondered aloud, looking up.

"Hey, who said you were done?!" Celes snapped, and Sabin went back to massaging her feet.

"I think Magus has entered another portal," Zero said. "Should we follow him?"

"Nah, let's not," Cloud said, staggering out of the room again. "This whole mess is getting me down. Even Midgar wasn't this depressing."

"Yeah, this kinda sucks," Sailor Planitarium said. "Let's jet."

"Oh-kay then..." Zero said, unsure about the attitudes of these heroes. "Pilot, turn this ship around!"

...

"Is anyone actually flying this thing?"

There was another flash as the ship went through the portal.

Everyone ran up onto the bridge examining their surroundings.  Everything was black, with several shades of green blocky figures.

"Spook, status report!"  Cloud said.

"It appears that we are in the Atari world, Captain."  Spock said.

"2000 or 3000?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"Not really, thank you Mr. Spock," Cloud said.  Zero puzzily looked at the Vulcan.

"Hey, didn't we pass that last green speck about a dozen times already?"  Sailor Plantarium asked.

"Quiet you!"  Vegaris raised a fist at her and was about to strike when Bulma cut in.

"No, she's right, in this world, there is about two inches of scenery that's different, and then it re loops itself."  Bulma said.

"Then where in the world are we?"  Planitarium asked.  Bulma looked over the edge to see a green pie with a missing piece in it eating dots in the sky.

"It appears to be Pacman!"  Bulma said!

"Well whereever we are we have to stop that flying pale guy!"  Cloud said.

"Ahhh...right..." Zero said as he picked up Pacman.

"Hey put me down you louse!  Pacman doesn't like being handled!"  Pakman said holding a pencil in his mouth.

"Hey look Frisbee."  Zero laughed in his best Michel J. Fox imitation and tossed Packman casually at Magus, wounding him.  Magus spun like an aircraft with no wing spouting out black smoke and landed in a green pixilated town.

"Oh great, now we have to go down there and in this weird place!"

"Hmm...That barn looks very familiar!"  Zero thought to him self as a green plane slammed into a telephone pole and started to fly upward until it got to the top.  "Oh great, Barn Stormer!  He had to land in Barn Stormer!"

"Get off me!" Magus shouted, shaking the yellow sphere, but it hung onto his arm persistently.

He looked up just into time to see a barn flying toward him. There was no time to duck, so he fired a blast of darkish-green energy from his hands. Pieces of pixilated barn went flying back toward the airship.

"Barn!" Zero cried. "Everyone down!"

Everyone threw themselves onto the ground, except Vegetis. "This is so stupid," he (she?) muttered. "I can fly faster than that fool..."

"No, wait...!" Zero cried, but Vegeta's rebellious nature had taken over, and the merged one jumped off the bow of the ship. "If we have a Game Over..."

"What's the big deal about a Game Over?" Cloud asked. "I get them all the time." Everyone looked at him. "It's not ME. The rest of my team sucks...really..."

"Normally," Zero continued, "I don't think..."

"Barn!" Sabin shouted, and everyone hit the deck.

Nothing happened and Sabin fell over laughing. Celes cracked him in the ribs.

"Anyway," Zero said, dusting off pixels from his suit, "it would not normally be a problem. But, in Atari, there were no save games..."

"No save games?!" Barret cried, fearful.

"Not even passwords," Zero said ominously.

Everyone gasped.

"So, we must stop Vegetis before his recklessness sends us all into Atari limbo! And we must hurry!"

Vegiris landed on green pixilated soil and looked around

"Okay, where are you Magus?" He's said.  A plane flew past his head almost hitting him.  "Hey, watch where you're flying you idiot!"  He shot a blast at the plane. The blast blew up on impact causing the plane to shake and bounce up a few pixels.

meanwhile...

"Damn Him!  Why did he have to pick an area that can be ended in a short shot from the rear to run from us?  And in all places why did he have to land in the middle of Barn Stormer?"  Cloud huffed as a flock of small white birds flew past him.

"I think I know why?"  Zero said.

"Oh really now?"  Cloud looked at Zero muttering under his breath about the nerd of the world and such.

"Well, I just checked my scanner, there seems to be a Discoball coming from that reddish uhhh barn over there...."  Zero pointed to a group of barns that were huddled together in fright.

"Well, in that case, this is a horse of a different color..." Cloud said "Okay, let's split into groups...Sailor Planitarium, Cap'N, and Zero go get the Discoball and report back to the ship.  Setzer, you continue to maintain the ship while we go and look, and everyone else comes with me, we have a purple-haired magician to slay!"

Cloud jumped off of the side of the ship followed by Naten, Sabin, Celes, and Tuxedo Mask.

"Well, here we go!"  Cap'N sad and jumped off of the side.

"Wait for me!" Sailor Planitarium cried as she dived over the railing followed by Zero.

Cap'N and Zero gracefully landed on the ground soon followed by the clumsy Sailor Planitarium who slammed into the ground behind them.

"Right, let's get this over with...I'll tell you what, Zero, let's go and look for that Discoball, you look in the barns to the left, and I'll look in the ones in the right...and you,"  Cap'N said as he pointed to Sailor Planitarium "You keep watch, and tell us if Magus shows up!"

"Will do!"  She said, and started to look around as if she could see everything at once.

"Right, let's go!"  Zero said and darted into one of the barns.  He threw the hay around in the first barn and started digging in the ground...nothing in sight. He darted to the next one and began by prying some loose boards...nothing again.  "There's nothing here!" he yelled.

"Yah, I'm not finding anything either!"  Cap'N yelled back.  The barns scattered away from their huddled position revealing a green barn where the middle was.  Cap'N and Zero exchanged quick glances at each other.  "You think it's in that one Zero?"

"I dunno, let's go check..." They moved over to the door and looked in.  On a large pedestal in the center was a large crystal ball.

"Let's get it!"  Cap'N yelled.  A buzzing could be heard behind them.  Cap'N turned around.  "On second thought, duck!"

"What?"  Zero yelped as he was pulled down just into time to miss a low flying plane.  The plane flew through the green barn.  When they checked looked, the Discoball was missing.

"Uhhh...what happened to the Discoball?"  Cap'N asked.

"Uhhhhh...there's what happened!"  Zero pointed to the flying plane.  On the back of the plane's tail, the Discoball was sitting there.

"Hey, you were supposed to warn us!"  Cap'n yelled at Sailor Planitarium

"Yah if Magus shows up, does that look like Magus to you?  No, that's what I thought."  She said, and with that turned around and sat down.

"You...why does it always have to be the stupid one that get put on look out?"  Zero said and smacked his forehead causing a large clunking noise.

"Uhhhh....Plot reasons?  We have to go and get that plane!" he said, and flew after the plane.

"Okay, smarty pants," Tuxedo Mask said, looking directly at Cloud, "where's Magus at?"

Cloud pondered. "Hmm, didn't think about that part. Usually something comes along in the form of a clue or something to follow..."

"Hey," Sabin cried, "I think I hear fighting!"

"Yeah," Celes chimed in, "me too."

"I don't," Cloud whined. "I never get to hear anything cool."

"Let's go!" Tuxedo Mask shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

The five ran toward the fighting to see Magus and Vegaris each standing on a long rectangle floating over a pit of darkness. Between the paddles bounced a round white ball.

"Do you think you can stop me?!" Magus cackled. "Fools!"

"Heh, you are no match for me..." Vegaris sneered. "I am the strongest fighter in the universe!"

"Ahh, they're still taunting..." Sabin sighed. "We may have to wait a few episodes..."

Meanwhile...

"Okay, Sailor Planitarium," Zero explained slowly, "all you have to do is sit here on this platform, we'll cut the rope, and you'll fly into the air and land on the back of the plane. Got that."

Sailor Planitarium thought for a moment. "Could you explain to me again about the rope part?"

"Good enough," Zero sighed. "You've now passed your catapult training course. Happy flying."

"Hey, wait a minuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute...."

Sailor Planitarium slew through the air towards the plane.

"Think she'll make it?" Cap'N asked Zero.

"Let me put it this way... There's a better change of the Negaverse ever winning a battle than her landing on that plane."

"Then why'd we do it?"

Zero just grinned, and broadly at that.

Sailor Planitarium soared through the air like a hot knife through butter and as the plane quickly sliced through the air as if it were a piece of two-dimensional badly drawn cardboard (which it is) she landed on the wing of the plane sending it spinning out of control.  Zero looked at her (and the plane for that matter) as if he had just been kicked in the nuts for no apparent reason.

"So when's the Megaverse due to take over?"  Cap'N grinned mischievously at Zero to tick him of.

"Oh shut up you twit!"  He raised his arm to attack the color shifting man but stopped suddenly as he saw the plane spiral down and slam into the ground.  Zero's face narrowed.  "We'd better go catch them before she causes us all to have a game over."  He ran off in the direction of the plane.

"It only makes sense, after all anime characters luck greatly increases as their chance to survive decreases."  Cap'N pondered as the plane shot back up into the air and ricocheted like a ping-pong ball (no pun intended) between another barn and a few birds.

"Hurry up twit!"  Zero shouted behind himself.

"And with him launching her that only doubles the chance of her making it."  Cap'N darted after the black android.

meanwhile...

"Do you really think that you can beat me?"  Vegaris bellowed,  "I am after all the prince of all Saiyans!"

"Say-ann what's a say-ann?"

"It's Saiyan you pasty dolt!  S-A-I-Y-A-N" Vegaris fumed.

"I thought it was S-A-J-A-I-N."  Tuxedo Mask said.

"Quiet I ought to know how to spell my own race...I am the prince of all Saiyans."

"And that makes you know all?  I can not take this injustice. I must right wrongs and triumph over evil in the name of the moon!"  Tuxedo Mask waved his arms around like a Power Ranger.

"Isn't that your wife's line?"  Naten asked.

"Shut up, you're killing the mood...she's not around, and after all I need to steal some from her.  The writers gave her all of the best dialogue and I didn't get half of it."

"I don't have time for this!"  Vegaris pushed his hand out in front of himself and shot a blue beam from it sending Tuxedo Mask through several mountains.  "As for you...I don't need this paddle to finish you off, I can destroy you with out it!"

"Oh really?  It will be quite hard to play the game if you get rid of it."  Magus beamed with perfect English and swung his cape behind himself to show emphasis on his last sentence.  "I don't even think you're strong enough to break that board in two."

"Oh really, I accept your challenge!" and with that Vegaris broke his paddle in two.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha!"  Magus grumbled.  "You idiot, you really fell for that?  You can't play Pong with out a paddle!  Mwa ha ha ha ha!"  Magus shot a green ball out at Vegaris.  Vegaris swung at the small green dot, but it passed through his arm and scored a point for Magus.

"Vegaris you idiot!  You're ignorance has killed us all!  Magus will win this now!"  Naten screamed at Vegaris as Magus scored another point.

"I needed to accept the challenge what would happen to the Saiyan pride if I d..."

"Don't talk to me about Saiyan Pride!  You have killed us all now, and no strength will win that ever!" another two points rolled onto Magus’ score.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" Magus continued to chuckle evilly as he excitedly sent another green ball towards the other side.  Another point added to Magus’ score.  A rifle shot of in the distance and suddenly Magus stopped laughing.  He looked down to see blood spurting out of his stomach and dribbling down his clothes.  He grew faint and fell into the pit below.  The Discoballs fell out if his pockets.  Vegaris waved his hand swiftly through the air.  The Discoballs flew through the air and stopped suddenly on Vegaris' hand.

Meanwhile in a tree lounge in a two-dimensional tree not so far away...

Dean Durham looked through his binoculars at the pong match with his hunting rifle in the holster next to him.

"Oh he's hit!"  Magus slowly faded into the pit.  "He's down....thaz a good buck."

"Uh sir I don't think that's a buck!"  The cameraman said.

Sailor Planitarium stepped out of the plane, now a smoldering wreck. It had landed in the center of a monochrome baseball diamond. Several single-sprite players meandered up to the ship, examining it curiously and speaking in squeaky voices due to the high level of helium in Atari. (see Prof. C. Uzuki's work: "Atmospheric Composition in the Pre-Polygon Era")

"What is it?" one of them asked.

"Looks like a Cowboy's cheerleader to me, but the colors are a little blinding..."

A spite jerked across the screen, his head flickering with red pixels. "Ayuda ayuda, el incendio es en mi cabeza!"

"Stop complaing, Pedro..."

Sailor Planitarium suddenly noticed the men loooking up at her. "Oh, my...MUNCHKINS! I must have landed in Oz! You're so CUTE!"

"What'd she say?"

"I want a LOLLYPOP! Where's the lollypop kids?"

"Look here, lady, you just landed on our starting pitcher, and you want a LOLLYPOP?!"

Sailor Planitarium turned in time to see two legs curl up beneath the ship, leaving behind two cleated shoes.

"WOW!" she exclaimed. "The magic shoes! These will get us home in no time! I wonder how they fit..."

Meanwhile, the Highwind circled around madly, tipping from side to side.

"Ha!" Cloud exclaimed, his hands on the helm. "Cid never let me fly, but look at me now! Yee-haw!"

"I'm beginning to feel sick," Celes moaned.

Suddenly, the ship jerked and twisted, then began spiraling toward the ground. Cloud pulled up and the ship regained its power as he rocketed straight up.

"W-what was that?" Sabin stammered.

The door swung open as Shris burst through, splattered with grease and oil.

"You're still here?" Celes asked increduously.

"We have a definate problem," she said, sounding worried. "There's a Pacman in the engine."

"A Pacman?" Sabin wondered aloud. "Is that bad?"

"He's only going to eat the engine," she said flatly. "We need to get a ghost, quick."

"How do we get that?"

"We'll have to go back to Pacland and trap one. Though, I dunno if we can make it. He's already to the gear shaft."

Cloud gave her a blank look. "Gear? As in, like, a manual?"

"Duh," Sabin grumbled. "All VI era airships have manual transmissions."

"Ohh...thought it was an automatic."

"Man, I'm gonna have to take it into the shop AGAIN. At least I have Setzer's credit card."

“Exactly where will we find a ghost at this time of day?"  Celes asked.

"In Pac-land!"  Shris said.

"Where's that?"  Cloud asked, puzzled.  "Can't we go somewhere more pronounceable like Midgar or Yamato?"

Shris ignored Cloud's comment, walked over to the table top, produced a map of Atari land from deep within her back pocket, (see the bottom-less back pocket theorem of animated worlds) and set it in front of Setzer.

"Well, I think we're a few coins short of the ride to this Pac-land of yours."  Setzer studied the map glumly.

"In plain English please?"  Shris asked.

"He means we probably wont make it."  Celes said.  The airship began to nose dive to the ground below.

"Ohhhh....why not?"  Shris asked.

"Well, we're here."  Sezter placed his finger on a small section of the map in the lower left hand corner of Atari-land.

"How do you know that?"  Shris asked.

"Because it says so."

"Where?"  Shris looked on the map to see a small yellow dot marked 'you are here' slowly moving from west to east on the map.  "Oh I see....and where is Pac-land?"

"Right about here!"  Setzer walked a few paces to his left and pointed down at the ground.

"That's not even on the map!"  Cloud exclaimed.

"Well...no it isn't...we have two options though, but we haven't been dealt a good hand."  Setzer beamed at this piece of information.

"What?"  Shris asked.

"He means the options aren't very good."  Celes said in her worst German Accent

"Well speak up man...don't make me hurt you after screwing up my castle!"  Sabin shouted.  The air-ship continued to fall faster to the ground.

"Well, our first option is we can try for the Star-wars section of Atari-world, but I don't like that bet because we may never find ourselves out of the darkside!"

"And our other option?"  Celes asked.

"We can roll the dice and hope that we are dealt a pair of deuces."

"You mean aces?"  Cloud asked.

"Yah...what she said." A giant sweat-drop appeared over his head. 

"This guy's really starting to get on my nerves!"  Shris looked hopefully at Celes.

"Just role with the punches and hope for the best!"  Celes said.

"Well, one thing's for sure...I think the wheel has spun for the last time!"  Setzer said trying to get his dignity back.

"What?"  Celes asked in unison with Shris.

"You know, we've gone bankrupt!" The arship was almost scraping the ground now.

"I still don't follow you!"  Celes said.

"We've been dealt a Joker!"

"I think you made that one up!"  Sabin said.

"Oh craps!" and with that the airship collided head first into a very pixilated and overly sized what seemed like a snow-bank.

meanwhile...

Zero and Cap'N ran over to the baseball diamond and reached into the not-so-smashed-up airplane.  Zero reached in to the not-a-wreck and pulled out the Discoball.  The air was filled with the Baseball Chorus.

"Okay, only one left to go!"  Zero opened up a door in his stomach and put the Discoball in and shut the door.  They looked to their left to see Sailor Planitarium clapping while sitting Indian-style in the center of a ring of tiny baseball players.  Sailor Planitarium was now wearing a pair of very small red slippers that were sparkling.  All were in the same uniform blue shirt and pants and a hat.  Except for one, which was wearing a black uniform and had a green hat on.  They were all singing "Off to see the Wizard."

"Uhhhh...can we have it back?"  Cap'N asked.  The man in the singular uniform dropped out of the chorus and turned around.

"Are you refering to our queen?"  The man asked.

"Uhhh...I guess so..."  Cap'N said.

"NO...she has taught us so many songs and we have elected her as our queen!"  the man said.

"Wow, you did a lot for in a small amount of time...after all we walked what...50 yards and you did all of that already?"  The chorus started up in "Follow the Yellow Brick Road."

"We're small people, we have to do a lot in a short amount of time...besides it was easy to elect her as queen when no one was running against her!"

"Ohhh...I see the error in our ways.  Look, I hate to be a bother..."

"Then don't be."

"Nevermind...I really enjoy bothering you, and we really need to get going...so if you'd kindly return our party member we'd be happy to go on our way and let you live in serenity.”

"Nice offer, but no!'

"Look Shrimp...I've already had a ruff day and I don't need you acting all high and mighty...I have things to do and I don't have the time for this!  Now hand her over or pay the consequences!"  Zero began to tap his foot sending the miniature ball player bouncing into the air.

"No!  Beside, you don't look all that tough, what exactly can you do?"

"This!"  Zero stepped on the small player sending pixel shards flying everywhere.  The rest of the ball players stopped singing and began scattering in every which direction.  Zero (feeling as dandy as he was) decided to make sport of the little people and began stepping on each individual player like ants.

Cap'N picked Sailor Planitarium up from the ground.  She looked glumly at Zero (who was now laughing hysterically) and said, "That was unnecessary.  I was having fun!"

"Yah well, we need to get going.  We need to find the rest of the party members."  Cap'N said.

As Zero finished off the last few players and stood in the remaining shards, a monotone voice filled the air saying, "Zero has reached final level plus one!"  An Aura circled around Zero and slowly scanned his body.  When it finished, everything on Zero was black but his eyes which were now red with black pupils; his hair which was now cut drastically shorter, stained blue, and spiked; and his skin which was now powdery white instead of pasty white.  Around his mouth and nose a black bandana was tied and flapped in the wind like a flag at McDonalds.

"Let's see... I think the remaining party went off in that direction!"  Zero pointed to a pit way off in a direction.  He picked up the Cap'N under one arm and slung Sailor Planitarium over his shoulder as he quickly ran off towards the pit leaving a streaming after-thought behind him.

Back at the wrecked airship...

Shris slowly got up while shaking her head, she looked at the air-ship, and saw that it was not broken or smashed unto little pieces, but was actually still whole (except for the engine.)  All of her comrades were still unconscious.  She looked at the scenery.  The area was covered with white, which looked almost but not quite exactly unlike snow, and from the air small blocky particles danced their way to the ground.  Shris felt cold looking at the scenery, but the area was not cold at all.  In fact it was a nice 70 degrees out.

Pacman flew out of the ship and ran off laughing at their dismay only to be stopped suddenly by a quick swing from an energized full knapsack shattering him to pieces.

Shris looked to see the carrier of the knapsack was a tall fat man wearing a red coat with white fluffies at the base.  He had a hat and pants and gloves to match the coat, along with a pair of sun glasses, a hick bear that fluffed out almost as much as his stomach, a black buckle around his stomach that looked ready to burst, and a pair of black army boots around his feet.  Frolicking around the man were several small slender people wearing similar costumes but were green instead of red, and had long pointed ears.

"Thank you who ever you are."  Shris turned away from the man and began to walk over to her party that was thrown every which direction from the ship's all together rough landing.

"You know who I am!"  The man said.

"Shiris turned around and slowly opened her mouth.  "Santa and his elves?"

"We like to be called 'little people!" one of the elves stated.

"Ho ho ho...Shris I am you father!"  With a smug look on his face the man flung his sack over his shoulder and shot his arm out to balance himself.

"Uh huh...."  Shris' eye began to twitch at the large man's words.

A pink bubble began floating downwards out of the sky. Suddenly it popped, revealing a woman in a long flowing dress.

"Who are you?" Sailor Planitarium asked.

"Why," said the woman, "I am Glenda, good witch of the North."

"Then why did you come from the east?"

"Quiet!" she snapped, then calmed her voice. "You could have gone home the entire time, you know."

"But I don't WANT to go home," Sailor Planitarium retorted. "I like it like this!"

"Listen you little brat," the good witch snarled. "You're going to click your heels together three times and you're going to say 'There's no place like home' and you're going to leave, GOT IT?"

Sailor Planitarium started bawling. "Come on," Zero said grudgingly. "Let's get her out of here."

The two dragged Sailor Planitarium out of the Baseballkin Land and sat her up against a rock, or something that looked like one.

"Okay," said Cap'N, "just click your heels together and say, 'There's no place like SNES, there's no place like SNES..." Got it?"

She stood up unsteadily, and clicked her heels together, mumbling beneath her breath. Immediately, she vanished.

"Way to go, smart one," Zero said. "Now what do WE do?"

"Maybe if I had the laptop..."

Suddenly, a loud rumbling shook the ground beneath them. The roaring grew louder, and louder, took a quick break, then continued growing louder.

"What is THAT?" Zero wondered aloud.

They both turned to see a giant black mass hurrying toward them, gobbling up everything that crossed its path, and some things that didn't.

"It's a plot hole," Cap'N breathed. "It's been building up since we started, following us everywhere and constantly growing..."

"Is there any way to escape it?" Zero asked.

Cap'N shook his head solemnly, and they were engulfed.

Shift.

Zero, in his bulky space suit, stepped out of the small pod.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for-"

"Never, you glory hog!"

Cap'N leapt out of the pod, landing on Zero. The two bounced away across the moon's surface, fighting.

"I was first!"

"No, I was first!"

"Now way, I wa--"

Shift.

An obnoxious voice poured through the loudspeaker.

"Aaaaaaaaand now, welllllllllcome to the Zeeeeeeeeeeeero and Caaaaaaaaap'N Show!"

Zero and Cap'N come out on opposite ends of a gaudy state, pictures of their faces plastered against the backdrop.

"To start out our show, I thought we could do a little music number, what do you think, Cap'N?"

"Sounds good, Zero."

They stood facing each other, each with a microphone in hand, the crowd cheering.

"They say we're young and we don't know, won't find out till we grow."

"Well I don't know if that's all true 'cause you got me, and baby..."

"I got you babe... I got you babe.... I got--"

Shift.

A hot sun sizzled over a parched desert landscape. A small road wound through the desert, meandering around large rock outcroppings. Behind on if these outcroppings, Zero hid, a TNT detonation device in hand. The line wound down under the road to a hidden cache of several tons of Acme brand dynamite. A large dust trail appeared on the horizon, coming closer, closer... Zero slammed the lever down, as the cloud passed. He slammed on it several times, finally succeeding when he went out in the road and pushed the lever down directly above his stash. Pieces of robot fell from the sky.

Cap'N zoomed on down the road. He stopped suddenly for a moment to pose for the camera. "Beep beep!" he exclaimed, and zoomed on.

Shift.

"How would you like your toast done, my Honey Bunches of Oats?" Zero asked as he picked a piece of toast out of the toaster.

"The way you always do it, my lovely Fruit Loop," Cap'N said, sitting at a table reading his newspaper.

"Okay, one French toast coming right up, my happy Cheerio."

"Thank you, my pretty Frosted Flake."

"It's such a nice day, isn't it, my kissable Corn Pop!"

"We should a picnic, my sweet Count Chocula--"

Shift.

Zero and Cap'N appeared in the desert outside of the destroyed Figaro castle. Sailor Planitarium was nearby, searching for her ruby slippers while Tuxedo Mask pleaded for attention.

"Wait, this doesn't make any sense," Zero stammered. "How did we get back here?"

"It's a plot hole, and a big one," Cap'N explained. "Sailor Planitarium should be familiar with it, or, better yet, ask Vegaris. It really can't be explained without blowing your head off. We can get on that if you want, but first I need a drink. Got any Vodka?"

The plot hole spread through out Atari-land growing and destroying everything in its path.  Plane and barn alike were thrown into the pit and placed into various other worlds.

meanwhile...

"Uhhhh...right...why again are you trying to fight me?"  Shris asked.

"Because, Shris, I am your father."  Santa said.

"Right, right...we already declared that.  Is there any other reason for you fighting me?"

"Because I want you to join the darkside.

"You see, that's a bit o' a problem fur me.  The whole dark side and all doesn't quite work out."

"Shris I am your father."

"Stop sayin' that!  You're startin' to get annoyin'.  Now what're ya doin' 'er?

"I am you're father!"

"I said to stop that!"  Shris looked passed Santa and saw a black pit growing larger and large coming straight at them.  In surprise her arm jumped straight out and pointed straight at the black void.  "Holy....Whaz that!"

"Shris I am..."  Santa was interrupted by Shris.

"If ya tell me yer my father once more I'll break yer arms off!"  Shris said and pulled out her sword.  The plot hole swept under their feet and sucked them into the void, both the party and the airship fell through the hole.

Shift...

Shris glared at Santa under narrow eyes and pointed her sword at him.  "You have to ask you're self something.  Do you fell lucky punk?  Well do you?"

"Ho ho ho!"

Shift...

Shris chased after Santa running through out their master's house sword ready to strike.  Santa ran between the chairs and under the table, and then jumped on to the kitchen counter.  Shris followed closely swing her sword fiercely knocking several dishes onto the floor below.  Santa jumped off of the counter onto the garbage can pedal sending the lid shooting up.  Shris leaped off of the counter and slammed head first into the garbage lid.  Shris stood in mid air for a moment of time and then fell off onto the floor.

Shift...

Back in SNES world...

"The name of the person that plays first base is Who!  And the name of the second baseman is What...does that make any more sense?"  Cap'N asked the bewildered Sailor Planitarium.

"Explain it one more time."

"Uhhhh boy...."  Cap'N rubbed his forehead and sat down next to Sailor Planitarium.  A gateway opened up and Glenda floated down to the ground gracefully.

"What was that?"  Glenda looked around at her strange environment.  Her eyes floated down upon Sailor Planitarium.  She shook her head and walked off mumbling.  "I'm not getting paid enough for this."

"Uhhh...that was weird..."  Cap'N watched Glenda walk off.  Another gate opened up and Celes fell out of it onto Cap'N lap.  "Celes...where'd you come from?"  Celes looked blankly at Cap'N as several more gates opened up.  Santa fell from the first one and landed on Tuxedo Mask (still pleading for attention.)  As Shris and Sabin fell through the next two portals, Santa stood up, thanked Tuxedo Mask for breaking his fall and dusted himself off.

"This ends now!"  Santa pushed his sack of presents forward.  Naten fell out of the next portal followed by Vegaris, Magus, and on of the many elves (who have since gotten lost in some other TV show but that is not important at the moment.)

"Ahh it's that stupid daisy!"  Naten stomped on top of the small elf.  "That's the last time I will ever speak of the Teletubbies again!"

"Do you people always do this sorta thing?"  Magus asked.

"Awe geeze!  Why do we have to fight?"  Shris asked.

"Uhhhh...Shris what's Santa doing here...and why is he trying kill you?"  Cap'N looked blankly at the two.

"It's a long story...I'll tell it to you after I get out of the shock of what I just went through!"  She said as another portal opened up above their heads.  This was no ordinary portal though...this portal was much much much much much much larger, and was more of an ellipse than a circle.

"You mean the plot hole?"  Cap'N asked.

"No more talk!  Now you die!"  Santa snapped.  Shris looked up just in time to watch the broken-down (but still intact) airship fall through the vortex onto the Santa bellow squashing him like silly putty.

"Aw too bad...looks like Tuxedo Mask got caught in that also!"  Shris looked at the airship with very little disappointment across her face.

"No, no, I'm here!"  Tuxedo Mask waved from around the large wooden object.  "However, you're right about one thing...my toes are stuck!"

"Well, now that everyone has appeared...then I think that it is time that we figure out what to do next...the airship isn't working, so what should we do?"  Cloud stepped out of the airship covered in grease  "Wait...I know we'll just call Cid!"